I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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