too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
