What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
