You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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