hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
