Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
