I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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