we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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