My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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