just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
