Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
