You really coming over, don't trick.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize