we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
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