the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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