You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I deserve this hangover.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
