I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
