It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
