i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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