I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He felt like a one man threesome
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
