singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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