All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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