You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
