You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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