so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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