I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
