I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
