if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
