I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
