these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
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