Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Enjoy the penises
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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