I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
