May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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