i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Randomize
