In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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