Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
