it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
