Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
