it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
