I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
