Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
