just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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