Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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