the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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