I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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