Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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