I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
They are going to name an STD after you.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
