Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Randomize
