I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
