We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
