Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
