You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
