i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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