HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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