I accidentally burped into my bong.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
