What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
