i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
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he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
