be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
