We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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