Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
