69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
