Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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